Be Ready When the Luck Happens

A few weeks ago, I met a girl drunk in a bathroom at a bar during a Sunday afternoon football game.

Drunk girls in a bathroom? I know what you’re thinking. Cue Meryl Streep Meme - Groundbreaking.

We’ve all been there. It’s a fleeting moment when you meet a stranger in a bathroom, have some oddly deep #girlhoodconnection, and maybe cry, but then never see this person again.

BUT. Hear me out. This one was different.

By the end of the night, we had exchanged information (phone numbers, IGs, and LinkedIn, because hello, we’re grown-ups now) and she had sent me a calendar invite (MY LITERAL LOVE LANGUAGE) for an upcoming Book Club.

Last night, I went to her house for Book Club and met more than a dozen bright, kind women with phenomenal taste in books.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?!

The answer: Ina Garten, probably.

We read Be Ready When The Luck Happens by Ina Garten and y’all… AM I INA?!

At first pass, this book is full of moments where things seem to fall into place for Ina Garten. Her future husband happens to be looking out of the window the moment she passes, a store is available for purchase right where she wants to buy in the Hamptons, and the world is ready to embrace home cooks just as she steps onto the culinary scene.

But was it luck?

In a few ways, maybe. Timing matters, sure. But her hard work mattered more. And perhaps what mattered most was her unwavering belief that she could, “jump first and worry about tomorrow when it comes.”

We talked at length about how this book didn’t dive into any of Ina Garten’s failures or hardships. We knew she had them - she didn’t hide them from the reader. But they were never a focus for her story.

Living away from her husband for a year? A few lines.

Surviving on $5/day camping through Paris? Eh, casual mention.

Fallouts with those closest to her? Noted, moving on.

At one point, we found ourselves questioning the depth of this book. Ina Garten wasn’t always successful and logically we knew this - she told us this. But why didn’t she share more about those hard times and the things that didn’t go well? Where was her transparency?

Eventually we realized - she was being transparent. And transparently, those few lines were all the energy she was willing to give to the non-luck-moments and the shit that didn’t go her way. 

She has WAY more to celebrate and be proud of than she has to dwell on.

The tough shit is simply a footnote in her story.

INA, YOU RESILIENT QUEEN.

If she did sweat the small stuff, she wouldn’t have been ready when the luck happened.

If we spend all of our time sweating the small stuff, we won’t be ready when the luck happens.

Listen. Do I think it’s minorly problematic and a little bit un-healed to squint this hard to “see” the silver linings? Sure. But do I think there is more power in reframing an experience as a stepping stone than reliving something that could have knocked you out? YES. And that’s my biggest takeaway from this book.

Ina Garten pursued what she wanted without thinking twice. She saw opportunities and seized them with confidence and without fear. She didn’t run through a list of things that could go wrong. She never asked herself what the worst outcome could be. She didn’t give herself the chance to be anything but successful.

She believed that it would work. She believed that SHE could make it work.

Could this be perceived as a tad bit reckless? Sure. But I don’t think things would have worked out as well as they did for her if she hesitated in the pursuit of her goals. She never let an opportunity pass - for better or for worse. But that means she was ALWAYS ready for the luck when it happened.

I think it’s important to note Ina Garten’s ability to reframe opportunities for the better and her ability to find luck in seemingly unlucky moments.

She has a story where she talks about her apartment flooding. Horrible, right? Not for Ina. She wanted to know who owned the apartment above her - and thanks to the flood and insurance claims - she finally figured it out.

Pause for a second and imagine your apartment flooding. Got the image? Now, instead of stressing about it, you’re… excited?! You go, Ina.

Much of my admiration for Ina’s, “leap before you look” approach is rooted in (attempting) to live similarly.

A year ago, I leapt before I looked.

My then-husband-now-ex-husband and I were getting a divorce, and I was trying to figure out where I wanted to land. I had just accepted an offer for a new job and I was going to hang out in Texas for a few weeks until I decided where I wanted to move with my new remote gig and single-tax-filing status.

On my first day of work, I got a notification that my laptop needed about an hour to boot up and install all of the software.

What could I do in that hour? AH. Yes, of course. I’ll sign a 15-month lease at an apartment building I’ve never toured in a city I’ve spent 12 hours in, ever. PERFECT!

Somehow, I knew the luck would happen.

I caught up with my aunt this week and she asked about life in Denver over the last year. I won’t attempt to quote her directly, but she said something about how happy I seemed and asked if it was as easy as it appeared to be to start over.

I told her that two things can be true.

One: There are endless opportunities to meet people, do things, and dig roots in this city.

Two: It takes fucking effort and it can be really hard.

But I focused my energy on building a life I love, and I’m proud of myself for how much effort I put into making this place feel like home.

My divorce was kind of like Ina’s flooded apartment or her store that didn’t quite work. Definitely NOT the plan and less than ideal. But in many ways, it freed me up to experience a new chapter and for some new luck to happen.

Life is full of hard moments, disappointments, and opportunities to be let down. But, as Ina Garten reminds us, “The People I’ve known who are successful have faced enormous challenges, but they didn’t let the challenges stop them - they figured out some way over the wall or around the wall, or they just smashed the wall down. In fact, it was exactly those challenges that shaped their success.”

The challenges can feel hard, but we’re better for them. They’re the catalyst for bigger and better.

I like to believe that the things that seem impossibly bad today may be a small footnote in my story later.

I also like to believe that I’ll be ready when the luck happens. Partially because I’ll squint as hard as it takes to see the silver lining, but also because when something looks like luck, I’m ready to leap.

Whether it’s a new job, hitting reset at 33 in a new city, picking up new hobbies, or awkwardly asking the girl I met in the bathroom if I could hang out with her when my friends left the bar… there are SO many chances for the luck to happen and I plan to make room for every. single. one.